Neglect

What is child neglect?
Neglect is the most common form of child maltreatment. Neglect is when a parent, guardian, or other caregiver does not provide for a child’s basic needs. Neglect includes not providing food, shelter, supervision, health care, schooling, affection or support.

How do you recognize child neglect?
Child neglect can be characterized by both physical and emotional characteristics as listed below:

Physical Signs

  • Poor hygiene and/or odor
  • Inappropriately dressed for weather
  • Unmet medical or dental care needs
  • Young children left alone and unsupervised for long periods of time
  • Failure to thrive, malnutrition
  • Constant hunger may beg or steal food
  • Acts as a parent to his/her siblings
  • Arrives early and stays late at school, play areas, or other people’s homes

Emotional Signs

  • Extreme willingness to please
  • Oldest child has a parental relationship with his/her siblings
  • Is always watchful, as though waiting for something bad to happen
  • Has learning problems (or problems concentrating) that cannot be attributed to specific psychological or physical causes

Children who have been neglected may have problems with emotional attachment, low self-esteem, anger and school.

What do you do when you suspect a child of being neglected?
Any kind of child abuse is against the law and has serious effects on victims. If you are suspect that a child is being abused, call your county child protective services agency. In Milwaukee County, that number is (414) 220-SAFE. To find the child abuse hotlines in other Wisconsin counties, click here or call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD.

Early intervention in child neglect helps a child heal faster, and reduces the long-term effects of the abuse on the child. Remember—when a child tells you about abuse, he or she is using a tremendous amount of courage, and is looking to you for help.

When a child tells you that he or she is being neglected, you should:
Avoid denial and remain calm. A common response to the disturbing news of neglect is denial. However, if you exhibit denial to a child, or become upset, the child will read your reactions and may be afraid to continue. Although it is hard, be as calm and supportive as you can.

Don’t interrogate. Let the child explain what happened in his or her own words to you, but don’t interrogate the child or ask questions that direct a child towards a certain answer. This may confuse and upset the child and make it hard for him or her to continue telling you what happened.
Reassure the child that he/she did nothing wrong. It takes a lot of courage for a child to come forward about abuse. Reassure him or her that it is not their fault and that you believe what he/she is telling you.

Call your local child protective services center. It is better that you do not handle the situation on your own. Contact your county child protective services agency.

Helping a child heal

You can help a child recover from neglect. Here are a few tips for helping a child, and further resources are at the bottom of the page:

  • Remind the child of his/her strengths. Being good at art, sports, school or being a good friend are all forms of strengths.
  • Encourage a child to be creative. Have them make up a story, draw a picture, or engage in a positive activity.
  • Teach them to take initiative.

Examples

Encountering child neglect as a parent or caregiver:

Recognizing neglect:
Annette’s grandmother often kept eight year-old Annette and her six year-old brother on weekends. Annette’s grandmother noticed that often when they came over they appeared sad and withdrawn. Sometimes Annette’s brother tried to engage her in play, she was often short with him and mean. She often asked Annette what was wrong, but never got a response. To cheer them up, she decided to spend more time with them and do something they really enjoyed. She decided to make cookies with them. While they were making the cookies, Annette told her grandmother that sometimes her father would go out drinking and not come back for days. During that time, Annette’s mother would be very sad and stay in her room. Annette and her brother would not get food and did not take their baths. Some days Annette would make sure that they were on the bus to school but they were dirty and hungry. One time Annette got very sick and felt very hot but her mother would not come out of her room to take her to the doctor.

Taking Action:
When Annette was talking to her grandmother, Annette’s grandmother listened. She then called 220-SAFE and told them what Annette told her. After an investigation, the children moved in with their grandmother. Child protective services offered Annette’s parents help for her father’s drinking and her mother’s depression.

Helping a Child Heal:
Annette’s grandmother understood that Annette was not trying to misbehave, but her anger and sadness had to do with what had happened to them. Annette’s grandmother got them both into counseling. Annette’s grandmother also helped them heal by responding gently and firmly with timeouts when they misbehaved. Annette and her brother had to make their beds every day and put their toys away at night. She made sure that Annette and her brother followed a routine when they woke up and went to school and when they went to bed.

Common Concerns About Reporting

What Happens When You Report


Encountering child neglect as a parent or caregiver

Recognizing neglect:
Six year-old Devon frequently came to school in the same clothes he wore the previous day and sometimes smelled like urine. One snowy day in January, Devon came to school in a light jacket and sneakers that were wet with snow. His teacher noticed that he only ate part of his lunch, putting the leftovers in his pocket and asking the cafeteria staff for more food. When the teacher asked him why he did not eat all his food at lunchtime, he said that he was saving it for when he went home, and was slow to get on the school bus at the end of the school day.

Taking action:
Devon’s teacher called 220-SAFE and described the inappropriate clothes Devon was wearing and that he was hoarding food. Child protective services investigated the situation and discovered that Devon’s mother had been selling her food stamps for drugs and that there was no food in the home. Child protective services substantiated the neglect and placed Devon with a relative while they gave mom an opportunity to participate in treatment.

Helping a child heal:
Devon’s teacher talked to the school counselor to learn more about hoarding food and how she could help Devon. The counselor explained that children often communicate their needs through behavior. She explained that hoarding may not be about food but about control. Children are dependent on the adults in their life to provide what they need. When adults fail to do this, children learn that they cannot trust that the adults in their life will meet their needs. As a result, they adapt and try to get their need met in other ways. The best way to help children heal in these situations is not to threaten, punish or shame the hoarding, but doing things that reinforce acceptance, patience, routine and security to help to rebuild trust.

Devon’s teacher told Devon that it was okay to save the food from lunch for later if he was not hungry enough to eat it during lunch. She gave Devon a special container to keep it in and allow him to keep it in the school refrigerator. Devon’s teacher gave him extra time on the arts and crafts projects that he really enjoyed. Devon had to clean up after he finished his projects and his teacher asked him to wash his hands when he was done.

Common Concerns About Reporting

What Happens When You Report